How Are You, Dad? Father's Day and the Mental Health of Fathers

Father's Day falls on 21 June this year. The day after — 22 June — is International Fathers' Mental Health Day: a global awareness campaign, founded in 2016, dedicated to the psychological well-being of fathers and the profound, often silent impact that fatherhood can have on men's mental health.

The two days sit together in a way that is worth noticing. Because while Father's Day invites celebration, International Fathers' Mental Health Day asks a harder question: beneath the cards, the brunches, and the social media tributes, how are fathers actually doing?

What Is International Fathers' Mental Health Day?

International Fathers' Mental Health Day (IFMHD) was co-founded in 2016 by Mark Williams in the UK and Dr Daniel Singley in the USA — both fathers who had experienced mental health difficulties in the perinatal period and wanted to create a space for that experience to be acknowledged. The day is observed annually on the Monday after Father's Day and involves a global social media campaign, shared resources, and a focus on the specific mental health challenges fathers face.

The campaign's core message is a simple one: fathers matter in the mental health picture. Not only as supporters of mothers and babies but also as individuals with their own psychological needs that frequently go unmet.

The Mental Health of New Fathers

The transition to fatherhood is one of the most significant life changes a person can experience — and yet the mental health consequences for fathers are dramatically underresearched, underdiagnosed, and undersupported compared to mothers.

• Paternal postnatal depression. Approximately 10% of new fathers experience paternal postnatal depression in the first year after a child's birth. When the mother is also experiencing perinatal mental health difficulties, that figure rises steeply — between 25% and 50% of fathers will experience perinatal anxiety or depression when their partner does too.

• The suicide risk. This is the statistic that needs to be said plainly: fathers with perinatal mental health problems are 47 times more likely to be rated as a suicide risk than at any other time in their lives. The perinatal period is a time of profound vulnerability for fathers as well as mothers.

• Paternal anxiety. Up to 18% of new fathers develop an anxiety disorder in the first postpartum year — including PTSD, OCD, and generalised anxiety. Anxiety in new fathers is frequently invisible, both because fathers typically do not identify their experience as anxiety and because no one asks.

  Fathers with perinatal mental health problems are 47 times more likely to be at suicide risk than at any other time in their lives. This is not a footnote. It is an emergency that is still not getting enough attention.

Why Fathers Stay Silent

The reasons that fathers do not seek help overlap significantly with the broader picture of men's mental health — but fatherhood adds specific layers:

• The expectation to be the strong one. When a partner is struggling — with birth, with recovery, with new parenthood — many fathers feel that their role is to hold everything together. Admitting their own struggle feels like a betrayal of that role.

• Invisibility in the healthcare system. Perinatal mental health services are almost entirely designed for mothers. Fathers attending scans, appointments, and postnatal visits are background figures. Nobody hands them a leaflet about paternal depression.

• Not recognising what they are feeling. Paternal postnatal depression often presents as irritability, withdrawal, compulsive working, and increased risk-taking — not the tearfulness most people associate with depression. Many fathers do not recognise what they are experiencing as a mental health issue.

• Guilt about struggling. In a cultural context that tells men to be grateful, capable, and present — particularly when a new baby has arrived — many fathers feel ashamed of struggling. The guilt of not feeling the joy they expected makes the silence deeper.

Fatherhood Across the Lifespan: It Is Not Only About New Babies

The mental health pressures of fatherhood do not end in the first year. Fathers at all life stages carry weight that rarely gets named:

• The pressure of being the provider — financial stress, career sacrifice, and the anxiety that comes with responsibility for others

• The emotional distance that can develop between fathers and children over time, particularly when fathers were not modelled how to be emotionally present

• The grief of becoming an absent or estranged father — through separation, divorce, or circumstances outside their control

• The quiet loneliness of feeling peripheral — to their children's day-to-day lives, to school systems that engage primarily with mothers, to friendship groups that have drifted

• Ageing fathers navigating illness, mortality, and the question of what their legacy means

How Are You, Dad?

The hashtag that anchors International Fathers' Mental Health Day is #HowAreYouDad — a deceptively simple question that carries enormous weight. Because very few people ask it genuinely. And very few fathers answer it honestly.

If you are a father reading this, this is your permission slip. To not be fine. To struggle with something you did not expect to struggle with. To reach out to a friend, a partner, a GP, or a therapist.

If you love a father, ask the question. And mean it.

Frequently Asked Questions

• Is paternal postnatal depression real? Yes. It is clinically documented, affects approximately 10% of new fathers, and responds to the same kinds of interventions that help mothers — including therapy and, where appropriate, medication.

• Can fathers access perinatal mental health support in Singapore? There are limited dedicated services for fathers in Singapore, though KKH and private practitioners can provide support. The first step is naming the difficulty — to a GP or directly to a mental health professional.

• What does paternal depression look like? More often irritability, withdrawal, compulsive overworking, and risk-taking than sadness. Many fathers — and those around them — do not recognise it as depression.

• What if my partner doesn't know I'm struggling? Many fathers carry this alone. A therapist provides a confidential, non-judgemental space to begin to name what is happening — without it immediately affecting your relationship or how others see you.

International Fathers' Mental Health Day is a reminder that the mental health of fathers matters — not just for fathers, but for the children and families who need them to be well. → At Parts of Us Counselling, we hold space for fathers, partners, and families. Reach out to find out more.