Unlocking Your Inner Wisdom: Discovering the Self in IFS Therapy

Ever felt like different "parts" of you are pulling in different directions? Like one part wants to chill, another wants to achieve, and a third is just plain anxious? In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, there's a revolutionary idea: beneath all those inner voices and feelings, there's a core of pure wisdom, compassion, and calm within you. This is what we call the Self.

The Self isn't something you need to create; it's something you already are. It's your authentic, compassionate, and wise core. It is the essence of who you are, untouched by past wounds or the protective roles your "parts" have adopted. When you connect with your Self, you tap into a deep wellspring of understanding, acceptance, and clarity that can guide you through life's complexities.

Think of it like this: your mind is a complex inner system with various "parts" (like different family members). Some parts might be anxious, some might be critical, and some might hold old pain. But the Self is the benevolent, calm leader of this inner family, capable of understanding, healing, and harmonising all your parts.

What Does the Self Feel Like? The 8 C's

When you're in Self-energy, you'll notice certain qualities naturally emerge. These are often referred to as the 8 C's:

• Curiosity: You approach your inner world and experiences with an open, non-judgemental "Hmm, interesting..." rather than immediate judgement or fear.

• Compassion: You feel deep empathy and kindness towards yourself and all your inner parts, understanding their intentions even when their actions are difficult.

• Calmness: You experience a serene, steady presence. The inner storms might still rage, but you remain the calm eye within them.

• Clarity: You gain clear insight and perspective, helping you understand the motivations, needs, and origins of each of your parts.

• Connectedness: You feel deeply connected to your inner world, to others, and to something larger than yourself, fostering harmony and belonging.

• Confidence: You embody an unwavering sense of inner knowing and self-assurance, empowering you to navigate challenges and make choices aligned with your truest values.

• Courage: You find the strength to face and heal old wounds, transform protective roles that no longer serve you, and lead your inner system with strength and compassion.

• Creativity: You access innovative solutions and novel approaches, enhancing your ability to address inner conflicts and promote growth.

These C's aren't just traits; they're states of being that are inherently available to everyone.

Why Does the Self Matter in IFS?

In IFS therapy, the goal isn't to get rid of your parts, but to help them trust the Self to lead. By connecting with your Self, you can:

• Heal Wounded Parts (Exiles): The Self's compassion and courage create a safe space for deeply wounded parts to finally release their burdens.

• Unburden Protective Parts (Managers & Firefighters): When protective parts trust the Self to lead, they can relax their extreme roles and find healthier ways to protect you.

• Foster Inner Harmony: The Self facilitates a collaborative, harmonious relationship among all your inner parts, leading to greater inner peace and integration.

Embracing and cultivating your Self within IFS therapy is a truly transformative journey. By tapping into its inherent qualities, you foster a profound sense of inner well-being and empower yourself to live a life guided by your wisest, most authentic core.